Unfortunately it’s happened to many of us – seeing those blue flashing lights in our rear view mirror...

Whether you’re in a Murciélago or a Micra, occasionally you might find yourself in this situation.  Of course we don’t condone speeding, but when it could be the difference between a fine or just a warning, have you ever wondered what you might say?  For this reason, car website Jalopnik published a number of reader suggestions for getting off the hook!

Here are six of the best...

1. The Dramatic Approach

A woman crying is apparently the ultimate way to prevent a fine.  However, the sight of a man bawling his eyes out on the roadside is surely going to be even more effective.  Although rare in the past, perhaps this is something for the 21st century male?

2. The Humorous Approach

We all love a good joke, and perhaps police officers are no different. So why not tell a joke? Even if it is a poor one...

(On an empty country road)

Officer: Where are you going in such a hurry?
Driver: Just keeping up with traffic, officer.
Officer: I don't see any traffic.
Driver: That's how far behind I am, I was trying to keep up! (insert unfunny drum noise)
Officer: Just slow down... (walks back to car tutting and shaking head)

If they don't laugh, just say “What are you, the joke police?”

3. The Honest Approach

Occasionally you may be speeding with good reason.  You or your partner might just about to give birth. You're late for an important meeting. The police are people too, apparently.  They also hear a lot of nonsense (see above), so maybe the truth will impress them, if only for the novelty of it.  Here's an example:

“My line is true, and my plea is earnest. Officer, I'm in sales, I drive a company car for a living, and every point I get on my license is additional money docked from my paycheck. The consequences of the ticket you're about to give me are far greater for me than for anyone else... please reconsider this as I could lose my job because of a speeding ticket.”

Also, you could just admit to them you're a motoring journalist (if that's true, of course).

4. The Dishonest Approach

We’ve all been tempted to lie before, not to mention justifying it to ourselves as we go.  “White lies” may help us out occasionally, but would they work on a cop? How about something like this:

“Am I glad to see you! I was almost run off the road by this idiot in a [make, model, colour of vehicle that passed you]. This guy was definitely hammered.”

You are putting yourself on the side of "public safety" and the cop will not want to take a chance that this fictitious drunk won't kill someone.  It might work. Certainly wouldn’t be our choice!

5. Technical Difficulties Approach

Unless you're driving something like a Toyota Yaris, which has a digital speedometer, there’s always a chance that your dials aren’t reading correctly. In fact, if you're driving an old Corsa this could actually be quite likely (trust me).

"Do you know how fast you were going?" Perhaps you really didn't. Perhaps you can convince the cops that your speedo is bust.  Or perhaps you really did pull out the wires in anticipation of using this trick?  But beware; the police will themselves have properly calibrated readouts which is all they need in a court of law.

6. The Foreigner Approach

If none of the above work for you, you may be clutching at straws now.  However if you’ve ever seen “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”, you might remember his less-than-successful driving lesson. His supposed lack of understanding of basic English allowed him to get away with downright dangerous driving.

Feel free to try the same approach! Of course that’s assuming you have a funny name or look foreign. This does not work if your name is John Smith or Sarah Jones, but is great if your day job involves playing panpipes outside the local Debenhams.  The more obscure the better – how many cops are likely to have been to Turkmenistan before?

Conclusion

We at Money Hospital would suggest that perhaps the best method of avoiding speeding fines is to not speed in the first place! If you’re caught there’s no telling what the consequences may be, but we'd be interested to hear if you've ever given one of the above a try...

If you have any experiences with speeding fines, please feel free to add your comments!

We don't make this stuff up, honest!

In a reflection of how some people are using the credit crunch to justify their behaviour, a debt ridden council has wants to ban its staff from using toasters and kettles to save money on its multi-million pound electricity bill!

Aberdeen City Council (which is £50million in the red) is considering a blanket ban on 'unauthorised' electrical appliances as part of a new financial rescue plan.

It is also considering its staff on training courses to learn to drive more efficiently in an effort to curb its £1.5million annual diesel bill.

Mind you nothing from this council should surprise us as earlier this year, it revealed that it’s temporary chief executive, Bob Coomber, a financial expert from London, would earn £1,000 a day to sort out its money troubles!

Yes, because doing that is really going to help your £50 million debt…

The action plan was revealed in a report which shows the authority's fuel bill topped £10million last year, including £3.5million for gas and £5.8million for electricity.

Wow, they really must have loads of toasters and kettles…

Among the proposed measures are the 'removal of all non-council kettles, toasters, fridges, fan heaters, and other non-approved appliances from offices and establishments.'

Naturally, staff are unhappy at the prospect of having to go without toast, cups of tea and desk fans and claim the move will only serve to further depress their morale.

The council is also considering turning off safety lighting in some buildings and car parks during the night and at weekends, and ditching post-it notes in favour of scrap paper.

Belinda Miller, the council's head of economic and environmental sustainability, said:

'There is an expectation by staff, elected members and the public that reducing our waste of energy and other resources should be a priority.'

But Mike Middleton, a representative for the GMB union, warned there are not enough canteen facilities in all council buildings and banning such items may hit morale adding:

'Although we appreciate the need for efficiencies, there may be mixed messages that affect staff morale.'

Opposition Labour councillor Willie Young labelled the idea 'daft', adding: 'It will get people's backs up; you have to be practical.'

Indeed you do but when a Council that already owes £50 million,  pays a guy £1,000 a day to sort out its fiances, you have to question its intelligence don’t you?

They should ban toasters all right; the toasters who run the council!

Have you heard of any equally stupid cost saving measures adopted by businesses or organizations?

Why not let us know in the comments?

It seems that the credit crunch is affecting everyone these days…even the tooth fairy!

The average amount left under a pillow for a tooth has dropped from £1.22 to 87p in the past six months.

The research,  from milk producer Cravendale, also show that 38% of British children do not get any money from the tooth fairy.

The data, entitled the Pillow Index, asked 1,000 parents in the UK what their children received after giving their teeth to the tooth fairy.

Dr Nigel Carter, chief executive of the British Dental Health Foundation, said:

"The tooth fairy's visits are part and parcel of growing up for most children so it's disappointing to learn that she's not been able to fulfil her duties lately. The tooth fairy is an important reminder to children to look after our teeth.

"Hopefully the tooth fairy can weather the current economic climate and we'll see her return to top form soon."

Children can take some solace in the fact their declining payments from the tooth fairy are still higher than the ones their parents received. The average payout for today's parents when they were children was just 19p!

In the latest survey, children in the Midlands were the worst off with nearly 48% not getting a visit at all.

Meanwhile youngsters in London fared the best, with only 19% missing out on the money; but then life is more expensive in London isn’t it? 

So, has the credit crunch affected the tooth fairy’s visit’s to your house?

Or is it still paying the market value?

 Some people deserve all they get don’t they?

Picture yourself as a thief.

You spot a nice big shiny truck in a car park and you get to thinking it might be worth stealing from.

Problem is, when the guys who own the truck spot you breaking into it, they are going to chase you.

And when you are chased, its best to find a better place to hide than a construction site portable toilet…

…because those kind of toilets can be so easy to tip over when you're inside!!

That's what the Tampa Police Department said happened to Lorenzo Knight. Knight broke into a truck in a shopping mall car park in Tampa Florida, took a £300 digital camera and the owner's manual. He had just tried the door of a second truck when its owner spotted him.

Knight then legged it, leaving behind a shoe and the screwdriver he used to break into the trucks. 

The owner of the second truck and a friend then chased Knight who tried hiding in a portable toilet at a nearby construction site, police said.

The owner and friend found Knight and tipped over the toilet to keep him there until police arrived. Police said that Knight was covered with its contents. 

What a crap thief eh? 

  Memo to any potential blackmailer…

…don’t send incriminating pictures from your mobile phone as its easier to track you down!

But one guy didn't think about that when he tried to extort $500 from a branch of Pizza Hut. 

Police say Jess Jay Long was a former employee of the restaurant in Nevada, USA.

He allegedly called the restaurant manager on Friday and told him he had five Pizza Hut signs that are used on the roofs of vehicles and wouldn't return them unless he was paid $500.

Police say the manager wanted proof that Long had the signs…

...so Long sent him a picture from his mobile phone that proved to be his undoing!

Officers were able to zoom in on registration numbers of tow cars in the background of the picture that proved to be registered to Long.

He has now been charged with extortion, possession of stolen property and grand theft and has had his bail set at $15,000.

Personally we think it should be higher because he is a complete idiot!!